Friday, October 06, 2006

Like manna from heaven

So, turns out someone else bought cake anyway, so I’m just going to drink the free alcohol this evening with a clear conscience. Hell, it’s not like they’ve been paying me to work here for the past six weeks, the least they can do is cough up for the alcohol.

(Sentences like that are the reason I don’t tell my workmates about the blog. Well, one of the reasons.)

Yes, the last six weeks have been unpaid. Which is no end of fun, because I have issues about money, and spending it on myself, and not pulling my financial weight. This upcoming interstate trip is a case in point; I’m saying to the husband, I can get somewhere without too many cockroaches for $X, and he’s saying, yeah, or you could spend a bit more and stay somewhere nice, you fool. I did, and at a very good price, but the fact remains that I have major anxiety about this trip.

Technically it’s a cheap way to have a holiday before starting a new job. It’s undeniably true that I need clothes for work, so that’s hardly a frivolous purchase. But still. I shall spend too much. We shall be unable to pay the mortgage and find ourselves out on the street. The husband will forever resent me for my abysmal money management skills, and will turn to bourbon and blondes to appease his anguish. I’ll have to sell the cats for scientific experiments, always assuming I can find a scientist who wants to run a How Many Hours A Day Can That Thing Possibly Sleep, Anyway? Are You Sure It’s Not Just Dead? Experiment. We will be doomed, doomed.

So you can imagine how I reacted, reading this: You, certainly, cannot buy everything, but you are able to buy a lot. You can permit yourself to luxuriate, if, certainly, you know when to stop.

I can permit myself to luxuriate? Me? Luxuriate? Oh, ‘tis to laugh. I mean, seriously, I haven’t been paid in six weeks, in fact, I should check the bank account to see if I can afford to go out this weekend…

And, holy shit. My tax return has finally come in, and I under-calculated it by a hundred and odd dollars. Meaning that I have a laptop-sized amount of money sitting in there.

I just…I don’t even know what to say any more.


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