Wednesday, July 12, 2006

It's not that I have a problem, exactly: II

In the latest news from the mindnumbing tedium files, here are the results of a personality test I just took:


For some reason the IT boys, whilst being perfectly happy to allow me to take the test, wouldn’t allow me to access the definitions (truly, they work in mysterious ways), so here’s what had to say on the subject:

1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself. See Synonyms at
conceit. Conceit? Shut up, Judgemental fucker.
2. A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem. Okay, deficits in self-esteem? I’m confused.
3. Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one's own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development. Does this mean that if I pose naked in the mirror after a shower and think hey, I’m looking pretty smokin’ this evening, I think I shall go and seduce the husband, I’m narcissistic? Or would it have to be more like, wow, my forearm is so attractive I think I just spontaneously climaxed? I mean, what are the parameters here?
4. The attribute of the human psyche characterised by admiration of oneself but within normal limits. Well, okay.

1. Of or relating to actors or acting.
2. Excessively dramatic or emotional; affected. Okay, so I tell a short joke or two after a drink. And okay, so sometimes a short joke can take up to half an hour because I insist on doing the actions and making hilarious asides partway through the narrative. And admittedly, every now and then I finish my interpretation only to realise that all my guests have gone home already. What do you want from me? I’m an artist!

And don’t think the irony of an entire post dedicated to this subject has escaped me.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i took this test. it came back "high" for obsessive-complusive. i should have lied with my answer to the penultimate question - "Do you engage in any obsessive or compulsive behavior?"

i am not making this stuff up.

12 July, 2006  

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