Monday, September 04, 2006

Let the timestamp serve as my excuse

So, I was mowing the…

What?

Hey, look, I told you last week I might not manage to blog every day. What do you want from me? I have a real job now.

So, I was mow…

Well, yeah, I do. And he does, normally, although I should point out here that even asking that question makes me wonder about your gender politics. But yes, yes, normally it’s his job, you’re right. But he hurt his back last week, so I volunteered, because I’m nice like that.

Happy now? I can continue? Good. So, I was mowing…

You know, I can't be bothered finishing that; it just wasn’t ever going to be an interesting anecdote. I mowed the lawn today, it was a pain in the ass, I should never have suggested buying a house on a steep hill. The End.

My mother rang me last night, using Skype. She’s never used it before, and she was extremely excited about the whole thing. Apparently she’d rung two people in Spain already the same evening. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know anyone who lives in Spain, which concerns me a little.

It (Skype) didn’t improve the quality of the connection, either, which would be far more useful from my perspective. The phone line to my house is so bad that despite the fact that it’s a large house, there’s no way of having a private voice conversation because one has to shout to be heard. I also can’t get broadband, for the same reason, but don’t get me started on the inadequate lip service paid to areas which are relatively affluent and not particularly far from the CBD and therefore don’t qualify for regional assistance nor constitute part of the standard metropolitan area and therefore seem to exist, or not, as a sort of shadow on the radar screen of the major service providers.

Now, see, what did I say about getting me started? Hmmm?

Anyway, I’ve given a lot of thought to all of the input and comments received on the subject of laptops. Luckily there were none, because you lot are either apathetic in general or don’t care about me, so that wasn’t an onerous task. The original plan was to get one so that I could obtain a wireless connection. Turns out that even a wireless connection, in this area, would be both expensive and slow. I still want a laptop, though, so in the absence of knowing anything technical at all, my plan is to wait for my tax return to come in and then go and spend as much of it as possible on one. Does that sound like a good idea?

Nope, still not interesting. Okay.

Triple chocolate Mars Bars. Now, I don’t have much of a sweet tooth. I’m more likely to gorge on grilled haloumi than Rocky Road, and yes, I’m also a total food snob, but that’s not the point. The point is that I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, but when I’m hormonal and craving chocolate, it’s the Mars Bar that wins out every time. And you know what? Not once, ever, and this includes the years of my youth when my desire for chocolate may have been influenced by rather less than entirely legal drugs, have I thought you know, this Mars Bar, it’s pretty good, but what it needs is more chocolate.

...

I think we all know I’ve got nothing, here. I’m feeling the after-effects of standard Sunday night insomnia, I have an ulcer inside my bottom lip and there are two cats downstairs wanting to know why I’m blogging* instead of feeding them.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you guys the story of my Christmas with the in-laws. Right now I’ve got to start mainlining caffeine.

*Well, obviously they’re not asking why blogging, specifically. They’re more enquiring about why I’m Not Feeding them rather than Feeding them, that being the dualism that interests them.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Bruce said...

(Bollocks. Wasn't paying attention, and originally posted this on Ange's LJ feed of your blog. Well, here's the sarcasm from a week ago, too little, too late...)



"A pain in the ass"? You mow your lawn with a donkey?
Really, try sheep. They're a lot less stubborn, not having enough brains to manage Deliberate Thwarting. They're pretty good at Blindly Following The Other Sheep Who's Blindly Following Me, though, which can be problematic. But still less difficult than donkeys. Or asses.

Oh, and get a Mac. Then I can be jealous of you, too, like I'm jealous of just about everyone I know.

15 September, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home