Well, now this is just getting ridiculous.

So yesterday afternoon, a friend calls to tell me that there's a bushfire burning an uncomfortably short distance from my house. The husband calls the hotline and we're told not to go home as they need the roads clear for fire fighting vehicles. We spend the evening at a friend's place listening to local radio and drinking wine until we are allowed home (after 8.30pm).

The house was fine, as was the cat who'd been happily snoozing upstairs all day. Nigel the fish wasn't: after perking up for a day or two he had relapsed and was pretty clearly about to die. So I put him in the freezer (mmm, goldfish popsicles) and he is No Longer.

I'm deliberately not giving out details of the bushfire only because I'm not keen on having my geographical location pinpointed. But if you know me and where I live, and was wondering: we're fine.

And, universe? STOP IT.