Start as you mean to go on

Let’s be honest here. Because honesty is integral to a good relationship, don’t you think? And I want us to have a relationship. A good relationship. A relationship in which I try and make you laugh, and you buy me drinks all night, and we both go away better people for it, or at least drunk, which as far as I’m concerned is a lot like being a better person, at least until the next morning when I remember exactly what it was I was trying to explain to the taxi driver and why he looked so alarmed.

I don’t have an interesting life. You should know that up front. I’m not a young hip successful glamorous New Yorker, or anything approaching it. Apart from the adulterous sex and the international tax scams, neither of which I can write about for fear of divorce and/or prosecution, my life can be characterised by - well, look, let me tell you about my weekend.

Wednesday last was a momentous day for me. I sat my last ever exam, and am now, pending marks, the holder of a Law degree. That’s a pretty big deal, don’t you think? Deserving of celebration and wildness? Here I am: twenty-something, employed, just finished a degree. The weekend was my oyster, and an enormous, succulent oyster it was too. With lemon. And rock salt.

I don’t know where I was going with that metaphor, but damn I want oysters now.

Anyway, so there I am, a dazzling array of options in front of me. I could have donned a wicked little frock and gone out to a cabaret show. Danced the night away at Boho. Snuck a bottle of champagne into the Botanic Gardens and shared it with a charming man. Hell, if I’d flown to Sydney and gone shopping all weekend, I’d have been justified. No study to do, remember?

This is what I actually did on the weekend:

1) Cleaned the house
2) Entertained (fed) a friend who, the better to get wild and crazy, brought her knitting along.
3) Went to three garden centres.
4) Went to the library armed with a list of books to borrow. And by list, I mean a spreadsheet printout, because I am currently trying to read all 1001 books listed in a book called 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die, and so far I am 200 books down, and the only way to keep track is via a spreadsheet.

I know. I’ve lost you. I understand, and I’m sorry.

But I think we’ve both learnt something here, don’t you?